


Story

by h_itoshi



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, But kinda without the angst, Epcotia AU, Hallucinations, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Worldista AU, all the shige-pairings, neverland au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:00:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22390684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h_itoshi/pseuds/h_itoshi
Summary: Shige isn't too fond of talking to people, and most people in here have minds elsewhere than the present reality anyway. If he's to drift away, he'd rather do it on his own terms.
Relationships: Kato Shigeaki/Koyama Keiichiro, Kato Shigeaki/Masuda Takahisa, Kato Shigeaki/Tegoshi Yuya
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9
Collections: Je-united Exchange 2020, PV/Song Fic





	Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thunderylee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/gifts).



> I... realize I may have strayed a little from your original request, I'm so sorry. I wanted to do like a sci-fi parallel worlds kinda thing, but then this idea popped up inside that and it kinda came out a bit different than I originally intended. I hope you can still like it even if there's not too much sci-fi D:  
> Also huge thank you for the opportunity to dive deeper into News than I ever did before!

Shige likes it here. He's one of the few who does. He doesn't talk to the other residents much, but he gets the feeling that everyone else just wants to get out of here.

Shige doesn't. Here, there's the comfort of food and a bed to sleep in, it's generally peaceful, besides the few occasional disturbances, and nobody bothers him. He can go about his day however he pleases, he can sit inside or go for a walk or go to some activity if he pleases, as long as he finishes his daily chores. Nobody minds that he zones out sometimes, they let him be in his own world with his thoughts. There's even someone who listens to his stories and helps him analyse them.

The nurses like him a lot too. Shige suspects it's because he's labelled non-dangerous and he's usually nice and quiet. Sometimes when he tells them how troubled he is sleeping, they slip him an extra pill so he can sleep soundly.

Shige doesn't get that much medication, and he supposes he should be happy about that. But the insomnia is the worst thing he knows. He gets something that's supposed to be calming before bedtime, but even if it calms down his anxiety, makes him feel like he's living in a world with rounded edges and soft padding, it doesn't really make him sleepy. He knows there are other drugs for that, but his psychiatrist wants him to try and sleep on his own.

Shige tries to do as she says, but it's hard when his mind is so full, like it's constantly on the brink of flooding. That's only happened once, years ago now, and that's what landed him here in the first place. Considering it's never occurred since then, he figures that being here is good for him.

It's raining today, the sky steel grey and heavy drops fall against the high windows with tiny tapping sounds, like a child throwing small rocks at them to catch the attention of the resident. Shige likes to imagine children here. It would make the place happier, he thinks.

He sits in one of the tall windows on the dormitory floor, enjoying having an overview of what's happening outside. On sunny days, it's interesting to observe everyone, some doing the gardening chores, some playing games, some just out walking with a nurse watching them closely. Some painting, others reading. But nobody plays, not like children would. This place doesn't accommodate children.

Today, in the rain, there's nobody outside. But Shige still finds it soothing to watch the garden, the well-kept lawn seeming greener with the misty dew highlighting the colour. The roses clinging to the high stone wall surrounding the premises hang their deep red heads against the heavy water, and the gravel looks like it belongs on an unfriendly shore in the north.

Shige watches the rain, how the puddle by the wrought iron gate grows bigger, how the raindrops hitting the metal roof of the locked up gardening shed bounce off rather than gather together to make a puddle, and the versatility of water is enough to entertain him.

He's happy to just sit for hours and look. Either at the outside, or at the people inside. When he first came here, there was always a nurse accompanying him, and he felt sorry for her that she just stood there while he sat. After a while, Shige's psychiatrist decided that he was very unlikely to do any harm, and he was left to roam around freely, if he stuck to the daily routines.

It's late afternoon and he knows he needs to show his face soon, since nobody has seen him since lunchtime, and he can't be gone more than four hours. At least he doesn't think anyone has seen him. He might have zoned out and not noticed someone walking past.

It takes him a while to decide to leave the window, but it always does. Even though he doesn't mind people, likes looking at them even, he is always reluctant to change his scenery, but his psychiatrist says that's fine. As long as he can do it, the reluctance is fine.

The common room is big and airy, with a high ceiling and neatly scrubbed floorboards, tables spread across them so that nobody has to sit with someone unless they want to. Or are allowed to. Shige reports his presence to one of the guarding nurses, and then sits down at a table to just look, waiting for the dinner bell. Most around are reading or talking, but some sit alone or with a nurse. He knows all the faces in here, always does even if new ones come from time to time. There are a lot of them he never spoke to, but he knows who they are.

Shige isn't too fond of talking to people, and most people in here have minds elsewhere than the present reality anyway. If he's to drift away, he'd rather do it on his own terms.

Across the room from him is a fairly new face, and Shige allows his gaze to linger. He's got short black hair, a bit of a round face and beautiful lips, broad shoulders and strong arms. Shige's not sure what his actual name is, but he's heard someone call him Massu.

He came here a few weeks ago, and Shige's heard he's unstable, unpredictable, that he has periods with delusions of grandeur. But besides that, he seems sweet. Kind and gentle.

He's playing chess with a middle-aged man that's been here for years, whom Shige knows is one of those who probably won't ever leave. But Shige's already crafted three different scenarios for that man's future in his mind. Massu's the interesting one today.

Shige looks at Massu's hands and arms, sees that he's tanned but there's a paler area like left by a bracelet, and Shige wonders who he was before. What he worked with, what bracelet he wore and why, if the tan and strong arms came from manual labour outdoors or sunny vacations and vanity.

He watches Massu smile up at the other man and move a black pawn forward. Shige thinks it's a knight, but he can't see from where he is.

The other man smiles back smugly and moves his own white pawn, taking Massu's off the board.

And then things happen very quickly.

“NO!” Massu yells, his voice rich and intimidating, his volume impressive, and Shige involuntarily leans back in his chair as Massu sends the chessboard flying from the table, pawns scattering all over the floor. “You can't beat me!”

He launches for the man across the table, his own chair falling to the floor with a metallic clatter against the floorboards, and the other man runs from his seat to try and get away.

Massu's fingertips barely graze the back of his shirt before he's grabbed from behind by two male nurses, pushing him down to the table he leaned across while trying to grab his hands. Massu fights them as well as he can, still shouting after the other man that nobody can beat him, nobody, that he'll regret he was ever born and similar threats that Shige would have never expected to come out of that beautiful mouth.

Massu's furious, face red with anger as the nurses struggle to get his hands in restraints to keep him from attacking someone. They finally manage, pulling Massu back upright as he keeps glaring daggers at his opponent, attempting kicks now that his hands are tied back, but the nurses forcibly start pulling him backwards and he loses his balance.

As he stumbles backwards into the firm grip of the nurses, he stares wildly around him, and his black eyes lock to Shige's.

The world seems to pause, normal passing of time slowing down to almost nothing, as Shige sees the fire in those dark eyes. The fury, energy and glowing embers, the red spark of determination, refusal to give up. Time stops.

* * *

Shige smells gunfire, smoke and moist dirt. Hears distant screaming, metal clanking against metal, the cracklings of several burning fires. Feels the wood under his fingertips, the heavy fabric draped over his shoulders and the heat against his face.

“Shige.”

The rich voice makes Shige open his eyes, facing the battlefield before him. The smoke is dark grey and rising from the field before him like pillars holding up the skies, the metal of mechanical armour glistening in the dim light as their wearers perform a lethal dance with soldiers dressed in black. Shige watches a young man swing his sword at his metal coated opponent's head, slicing off a rubber tube that spews white steam as it breaks.

The battling pairs seem endless, the field stretching miles in several directions. Shige's position on an elevated hill makes it all easy to overlook. The battlefield is scattered with bodies, both in heavy armour and black uniforms, and Shige slowly contemplates them, a deeper grief for the lost lives finding him as he notices bodies with yellow emblems on their epaulettes. But most of the bodies are in heavy armour, and Shige finds that comforting.

“We're winning.”

That voice continues, almost a pleased purr, and as Shige turns to his right, he sees Massu. His hair is dark red, longer, and he’s wearing a thick black uniform with a cape covered in gold and red ornaments and high, shiny black boots. He's got dirt on his cheek and sweat at his temples, the thin sword he's holding stained with blood and iridescent machine oil. He watches the battlefield with an ecstatic expression, the fires on the ground nothing compared to the one burning in Massu's eyes.

Shige watches him, gripping harder around the wooden staff in his hand because Massu's intensity makes it a little hard to breathe.

Massu turns to look at him, hitting him full on with those eyes, and Shige feels entranced as he's pierced by liquid fire, willing to do anything for the man in front of him. “I knew we would.”

“I know you did.” Shige finds himself replying, and Massu's beautiful lips curve into a smug smile as he turns back to watch the battle in front of him, fire light glittering in a necklace of ornate keys resting against his chest.

The wind brings back smoke, deceivingly playful as it brushes a few strands of hair against Shige's cheeks, and he feels the flutter of heavy fabric dancing in the wind, making him glance up at the flag he's holding. It's striped in black, grey, yellow and blue, a centre of four keys just like on Massu's necklace, and the sight of the flag spreads pride all through Shige's body. It's his own, and he knows this battle is necessary to protect what he loves.

There's a metallic clicking, followed by a chain rattling, and Shige turns to look past Massu, to a blonde in the same elaborate uniform, only decorated in silver and grey rather than red and gold. He's got a rifle aimed at the battlefield, the chain linked around the weapon's bolt and grip also wrapped tightly around his arm as if to physically keep it in his hands. Shige watches the man, how his eyes spark with something that could be sadism as he pulls the trigger and a strangely mute shot goes off, but there doesn't seem to be a bullet.

The impact is massive, an explosion sending bodies flying where the shot hits the soldiers. The flames are black and still somehow bright, glowing in colours Shige's never seen before and it's devastatingly beautiful. The aftermath leaves a pile of bodies, 20 or more, and even if they were mostly in armour, there are also some of their own, black sleeves spread lifelessly on the ground like veils of grief.

“We're winning.” Massu repeats, entirely unbothered by the shot of black fire killing so many, eyes on the bigger picture. “Let's win with them.”

He grips his sword tighter and starts marching down the hill onto the battlefield, the cape rippling in the wind as he does. The blonde follows him, as does a brunette with blue and silver ornaments on his uniform and what looks like a glass staff of glittering water inside in his hand. Shige knows his own place is last in the procession, and he raises the Neverland flag high in the wind as he watches Massu thrust his sword into the chink of an armour and withdraw it bloody.

The fires lighting up the camp at nightfall are warm and celebratory rather than threatening and angry. Shige's still wearing his heavy uniform, with the gold and honey weaved together to show off his position. There are many wounded and too many who will never be healed, the new guns developed with chemicals that burn off flesh and melt skin. But they won the battle, and when the last few armoured soldiers were called back, Massu had laughed.

The biggest fire of them all is at the centre of the camp, a memorial fire for those who gave their life and a beacon of hope at the same time. The shaken survivors are gathered around it, quiet conversations held as they wait for the victory speech.

Shige senses Massu's presence before he sees him, notices how the soldiers around him fall silent, humbly lowering their heads for their general.

Massu brushes past Shige so closely that Shige feels a tassel from his sleeve brush the back of his hand and he resists jerking his hand back at the teasingly soft touch.

The soldiers make way, letting Massu slowly enter the inner circle between the fire and the crowd. He looks out over his audience, the fire illuminating him from behind, the messy strands of his hair glowing like ruby. His eyes seem to suck up all the light, like his presence is charged by the fire.

There's a whiff of spring flowers next to him, and Shige tears his eyes from Massu to look to the side and sees the blonde right next to him, arms crossed expectantly.

“We won the battle today.” Massu starts, his voice powerful and enchanting. “We won the battle, but we did not win the war yet.”

He slowly starts circling the fire, his profile sharp against the flames, and he watches the audience like a predator fixing a prey.

“We won the battle, but they're still out there. Polluting our lands, dictating our lives. Stealing what is most dear to us.” Massu goes on, his voice wrenching with rage at the final sentence, the weight of it like a punch. “Creating war machines and filth in our sacred halls, in order to rule over us all like slaves. But we will not let them.”

Massu disappears from Shige's vision as he rounds the fire, and Shige seizes the moment to close his eyes and just listen. Listens to Massu repeating the story that started the war, of an Impossible that merged science with the natural magic of the land. The magic that shouldn't be touched, too powerful and too dangerous, and used up key metal to create an army with the purpose of gaining control over all four gates of Neverland. How the gatekeepers joined together to fight it, and how they all entrusted him with the four keys, choosing him as their leader. Shige has never regretted giving up his key.

Massu speaks of how bravely they've fought, how close they are. How they can march on the mountain and castle in barely a few weeks. How they can end this war forever.

Shige doesn't open his eyes until Massu's speech is over and the soldiers yell out their approval, their willingness to follow him to the end of the world.

Shige quietly wonders if that's where Massu will lead them.

There's a whiff of floral scent again and Shige looks up to see the blonde next to him leave, unable to catch his expression as he goes. But he figures he should retreat too, and slowly walks through the camp towards his tent.

It's grand, of course, fit for the North gatekeeper, the insides decorated with the yellow and gold of his home. There's a tapestry with beautiful sun embroidery, and the elaborate rays of sunlight seems to soothe the worries gnawing at his heart. Worries for the soldiers remaining, for their realistic prospects.

So many came and so few remain, and the steam powered armies covered in brass and steel only seem to grow in numbers. He wonders what they can possibly put up against an army like that in the end.

He shrugs off his heavy cape, carelessly dropping the fabric on the bed with a dull sound, and he watches the tassels fall like broken corpses against the white sheets.

“General Lieutenant?” A careful voice says, and Shige looks up towards the entrance of his tent, seeing a young man watching him like he's worried about disturbing. “The General is asking for you.”

Shige simply nods, and the man looks relieved as he drops the canvas and leaves. He doesn't bother to put the cape back on, the sleek black jacket trimmed in gold and yellow enough to make him look presentable.

He knows the way to Massu's tent better than he thought, and with every step closer, he feels anticipation coil like an anxious snake in his belly. He's not sure what he's anticipating, but he knows he wants to get there faster.

Massu's tent is located on a small hill, separated from the others, and Shige's surprised to find him standing outside the entrance, watching the sky. He's stripped down to the thin white undershirt, the top button undone but the dark pants and shiny boots are still in place. His hair blows gently in the light wind as he looks at the night sky with his hands behind his back like he's waiting for it to talk to him.

Shige pauses as he's a few steps away from him, worried to bother him in his stargazing.

“It must be peaceful up there by the stars.” Massu speaks up after a moment, and Shige assumes Massu noticed his presence. “Don't you think so?”

“I think every world has its problems sir.” Shige says, and Massu's eyes leave the night sky to lock on Shige's face, expression almost pained as he watches him for a moment.

“Let's go inside.” Massu says finally, and Shige obeys, slipping under the canvas as Massu holds it up for him.

His heart is beating harder than it has before, and he feels tense, uncertain what is in the atmosphere that's affecting him so.

He looks around Massu's tent, interior even grander than his own, with a table filled of elaborate pawns placed on a map of Neverland, a crimson canopy above the bed and chairs in carved wood and rich coloured cushions.

He's surprised at a soft touch to his shoulder, and yet his body seems to expect it since he leans towards Massu's body heat when he senses it close against his back.

“Don't address me so formally.” Massu asks softly, and Shige's eyes flutter closed as he feels Massu's breath against the shell of his ear, followed by the softest brush of lips.

“I'm sorry.” Shige replies, his voice so quiet it's barely breath, the tension draining from his body as he figures that this is where he's meant to be.

Massu's hands sneak around his waist, warmth slowly seeping through the layers of fabric as Massu's forehead leans against the top of Shige's neck.

“We lost so many men today.” Massu mumbles, his voice so vulnerable, so different from when he was out there, frantic intensity radiating from him as he urged everyone to step up and put an end to this war.

“I know.” Shige agrees, slowly laying his hands over Massu's on his own abdomen. “But those who are left will follow you anywhere.”

There's a silence, and Shige feels Massu's deep breaths against his nape, sighing at the tingles it sends over his skin.

“I hope I can lead them to victory.” Massu finally says, speaking the words against Shige's skin and they come out so quiet it's hard to hear them.

Shige shivers, Massu's warm lips against his vertebrae as much incentive as his words to turn around in his embrace.

Massu lets him, and when they're face to face, Massu's eyes are dark and deep like a stormy ocean Shige wants to dive into despite knowing he might drown.

“If anyone can, it's you.” Shige reassures, his own hands carefully coming to rest on Massu's broad shoulders, the thin cotton deceivingly cool against his fingertips.

A small hint of a smile curls Massu's beautiful lips, and a flicker of fire lights up the waves of the dark ocean.

“What would I do without you Shige?” Massu asks, but he leans in and doesn't seem to want an answer, a hand tilting Shige's face up enough for their lips to line up.

Massu's kiss is mind blowing, a mix of burning fires and stormy seas, stealing Shige's breath away with its intensity. Massu's lips are soft against his own, his breath tasting like power and Shige makes a tiny noise as Massu's lips close around his own bottom one.

Shige's fingers tangle in red hair, holding him in place as Massu parts Shige's lips with his tongue, asking for permission to go deeper while the hand still at his waist tightens. Shige lets him, trying his hardest to keep breathing as Massu licks at the inside of his mouth like he's never wanted to do anything else. Shige pulls him tighter to him, desperately trying to get as close as possible, and Massu growls low in his throat as Shige's hips push into his.

The hand at his waist slides around Shige's back, Massu's arm clutching him tight and keeping their hips together as their kiss gets messier. One of Shige's hands trail down Massu's neck and past muscular shoulders, raking fingers down his back and stopping right at the small of his back, sensing the heat of Massu's skin through the thin fabric.

Then Massu's hips purposely grinds into his, and Shige falls out of the kiss with a moan at the hard friction against an erection he didn't even realize he had. Massu hushes him, a gentle smile on his lips that he feels pressed against his temple, a hand drifting down the front of his jacket, settling on his belt.

* * *

Shige gasps for breath, blinking against the bright lights of the common room and it takes him several moments to understand where he is. The tables around his own are empty, and there are no chess pawns on the floor. He's sweating, and there's an uncomfortable tingle in his hands and on his neck, like he's lost circulation in those specific areas.

“Kato-san, are you alright?” A nurse hurries up to him, laying a hand on his back and looks at him with a worried expression. “Breathe, okay?”

And Shige breathes, forces himself to draw a couple slow breaths with the nurse even if his mind isn't sure what's going on yet. It takes a little while for him to sort out images, to keep the richly coloured cushions off the chairs in the common room and to make sure the smell of gunpowder and Massu's hair really isn't there.

The nurse fuzzes with him, brings him water and a blanket, and Shige tries to smile but his brain just seems to hurt when he does anything besides close his eyes.

“Are you feeling better?” She finally asks when his breathing has stabilized, and he's stopped seeing ghosts of his story in the real world.

Shige nods, and she pats his back carefully, then telling him he should go to bed, come on, let's go to bed.

Shige just follows, realizing he must have missed dinner, but he's not hungry. He's guided to the dormitories and helped to bed, and then he's handed a capsule he never usually gets with a glass of water. He swallows it without asking, and ends up falling into a dreamless sleep.

It takes Shige a few days to properly decide on what that was about. He's never had a story play before him like that. Usually, images and stories just pop up in his head and he has to follow them to a conclusion, but he's still aware there is a real surrounding around him, that he's still in one world physically while his mind is in another. But this wasn't like that. This was different.

He's seen Massu a few times after the vision, or episode, as his psychiatrist would probably call it. Every time, he feels anxious, his heart rate picking up and he half expects Massu to trigger another one, but it doesn't happen. Shige would never admit that he's disappointed.

He writes it down, over and over again as he remembers more details, scribbles the history of Neverland on a napkin at dinner and the details of Massu's clothing in the margins of a book he's reading. He can't wait once the images pop back up in his head, and he knows that this will be his greatest story yet.

The nurses are worried about him, and Shige gets the big capsule before bed one more time before they seem to decide he's not losing it and the episode was a one time thing. Still, Shige's moved temporarily to another dormitory, with fewer beds and a 24-hour watch, just until his next visit to the psychiatrist, they promise him. Shige doesn't mind. As long as he gets to write, he doesn't mind anything.

It's a couple days after the episode that Shige notices a nurse he's never seen before. It's a man, and he has gentle hands as he holds out the little cup of pills for the older man in Shige's new dormitory who always refuses to take them. His name tag says Tegoshi, and his voice is pleasant and his laughter beautiful, but Shige doesn't think too closely about that. Nurses come and go, and Shige usually doesn't pay much attention to them.

Until this one passes Shige where he sits on his bed reading, on his way to someone else, and Shige catches a floral scent that makes his book slip out of his hands. He knows that scent, so well, it's so familiar and yet he can't figure out where it belongs. His mind races and he tries to remember, somehow knowing that this is really important, wading through women in his life and their perfumes and ends up with nothing. Still, he knows that scent so well.

“Excuse me?” He finally asks as the nurse returns to his side of the room, busy filling out the paper journals laid on the desk under the window for the evening rounds of medication. “You smell really nice. What is it?”

That seems to get the man's attention, as he turns to look at Shige with surprise in his dark eyes, a sweet smile on his lips and Shige realizes it's the first time he really sees his face, and he _knows_ him. He knows those eyes, those smooth cheeks and well-shaped eyebrows, the beauty of his timeless face.

“Thank you.” Tegoshi smiles, and even if the black hair is the wrong colour, Shige's so amazed when their eyes meet that he forgets to breathe. “It's cherry blossom.”

* * *

Shige smells plastic and mild perfume, hears a low whirring of an engine and feels smooth leather under his hands.

“On behalf of our captain Masuda Takahisa and the cabin crew, thank you for travelling with Epcotia Liner destined for Kepler-90e. Our travel time is estimated to 8 hours and 15 minutes.”

It's a male voice talking, cute and flirty and Shige recognizes it.

He slowly opens his eyes, seeing what appears to be the inside of a vehicle with a rounded, low ceiling, deep red seats in rows before and after him. There's a blue carpet covering the floor and shiny symbols all around him, the windows tiny and welded into the white metal of the walls. Shige's strapped down in his seat by a matching red belt locked around his waist and across his chest, and as he looks down, he finds himself wearing red pants with a deep purple jacket that feels like it has a high collar. The people around him are also dressed strangely, the man before him in a hot pink sweatshirt and sunglasses despite the vehicle being dimly lit. Shige's seat is in the centre row out of three and he can't look out the windows, but he sees what looks like grey daylight outside.

The flirty voice keeps on talking smoothly, but Shige barely listens as it speaks of safety procedures, of having to keep your belongings stacked in the overhead compartments as there will be a few moments of zero gravity. He watches a woman covered in jewellery and a neon printed jumpsuit get up to put a tiny, see-through handbag in the compartment above her head.

“-this is all for the safety instructions. Please ask the flight attendants if you have any questions. We hope you enjoy your travel in space.”

The voice finishes, and Shige looks up to see what has to be flight attendants walking down the aisles on either side of him checking that everyone's wearing their seatbelts and no carry-ons are still on the floor.

Shige finds him immediately, the blonde hair and pretty smile as he looks down at the people he passes. He's wearing a two-piece dark grey and blue uniform with a decoratively tied scarf, dark suede gloves and some kind of black harness strapped around his chest. The logotype on his sleeve is a marine coloured planet with a white ring around it and the name tag on his chest that says Tegoshi seems to glow in the dim light.

Shige watches him closely, only glancing over to the other aisle as a brunette in the exact same uniform, looking very familiar, passes him. Then the scent of cherry blossoms reaches his nose.

“Are you travelling alone today?” That same cute voice asks, and Shige looks up at Tegoshi standing by his seat, smiling, a suede clad hand resting on the back of the seat before Shige.

“I... Yes.” Shige replies, glancing at the empty seat next to him and realizes that he's the only one who sits by himself.

“Alright then, just let us know if you get lonely.” Tegoshi winks, before moving on to charm the ladies in the row behind Shige instead.

Shige looks around, noticing a thin glass-like board above the tray table right before him, and he looks at it curiously as there seems to be thin threads of shiny metal inside it. Below the tray table is a pocket with what looks like a brochure, and he carefully pulls it out to look at it.

It's the safety instructions sheet, and he looks at the drawings of the vehicle he's in, called Epcotia Liner 009, noticing the giant rocket engines at the bottom of it.

“Cabin crew prepare for take-off.” Comes over the speakers, and nerves clutch at Shige's insides as he wonders what he's about to experience. But the people around him all seem excited, and the woman to Shige's right taps the glass screen before her, making it light up.

Shige watches in fascination as a movie seems to play out before her on the screen, a landing track slowly rolling forward.

He glances back at his own screen, and carefully raises a finger to tap it, noticing in surprise that he's wearing shiny black nail polish. The screen lights up for him, a perfect image of the same landing track rolling past shown on the glass, and Shige figures as he notices they seem to be moving, that it must be a camera on the outside showing this.

There's an impact like someone just hit him as the spacecraft accelerates, and he's pushed back in his seat with a swindling feeling in his gut as he watches the landing track disappear in seconds. His eyes are glued to the glass before him, and he sees what looks like a city from above, but he's not sure. All he sees is greys and browns, tiny dark cubes scattered in formations, but there's no water and nothing is green. Whatever it is he's watching, it's giving him a dull, dusty feeling like something that has been kept under a rock for too long.

The grey and brown disappear in favour of a thick white layer of clouds, the sun visible above it and it looks serene, a pretty world where everything is fluffy and soft. Following it, there's a dark edge starting to grow into the fluffy world, the light shifting a little and Shige stares at the image, at the black fading into dark blue and cut off by swirly white, imagining it's what an arctic landscape would look like at night. Something tumbles by on his screen, that looks like a metallic spider and a small white parachute, and Shige frowns, wondering what that could be. But those are the only ones he sees, and he's starting to feel strangely weightless as he watches the black grow darker and the white swirls lined in steel blue become more defined, until he finally sees a whole circle of it below him. He's not on Earth anymore, if that's even where he started. He doesn't recognize it from the science books. There are no continents that he can make out, he only sees brown and red patches against the deep blue covered in white streaks of clouds. He feels cold.

There's a sudden punch to his stomach again, and he can feel his limbs again, the weight of them, and it feels good to be grounded. The little glowing light with a seatbelt goes out, and people in the seats around him start chatting and getting up. There aren't too many people in this cabin, maybe 40, tops, but there are drapes cutting the section off in the front and back and Shige's not sure if there are more cabins than this one.

Shige doesn't get up. Instead, he stares at the planet on the screen until he can't see it anymore, uncertain how long it takes, but it feels like hours.

There's bustling around him and Shige realizes he's being served something once he sees the rows before him be offered trays. He looks away from the glass screen in front of him and can still see the shadow of it wherever he looks, and he tries to blink it away, thinking that he's done watching that screen.

Instead, he watches Tegoshi, eternally smiling and laughing as he offers everyone a tray of food. Shige inhales the cherry blossom that somehow seems to transcend the other smells of plastic and synthetics, and he wants Tegoshi to reach him.

The woman on his right is watching what looks like a cartoon movie on her screen, and her tray table is already down, so Shige carefully mimics her.

“Hello there.” Tegoshi greets him warmly, and Shige looks up at him searchingly, something about his smile making Shige wonder even if Tegoshi’s tone is flirty and teasing. “Dinner? My treat.”

“Sure.” Shige agrees even though he has no idea what he'll receive, but Tegoshi just smiles and carefully slides the tray onto the table before Shige with a skilled, gloved hand. Shige wants to feel the smooth fabric of that glove against his cheek.

“Please enjoy it.” Tegoshi says like he really did cook himself, then winks at him before moving on to the woman on Shige's right.

Shige watches him for as long as he dares, but then turns to look at the food instead. There are a couple small containers, one with something flaky, one with something creamy and then a hot one that looks like it contains meat. At least he recognizes a bun of bread.

Shige eats carefully and settles that none of it tastes much, and he misses vegetables. He wants to ask for salad, but he doesn't, not even when Tegoshi retrieves his tray and asks if it was alright. He feels like he shouldn't.

Time goes slowly and Shige watches his fellow passengers, and he can't help but feel like there should be someone in the seat next to him, but he can't figure out who. Eventually, the lights dim, and people pull out pillows and blankets from the overhead compartments and start falling asleep. Shige finds a pillow but doesn't bother with a blanket, figuring he's not going to sleep. The woman on his right is already snoring despite her cartoons still playing before her.

Shige's not sure how long he sits there watching people sleep, curling up a little against the cool temperature of the cabin, but he doesn't mind time moving slowly. Shige's good at waiting.

His eyes are fixed blindly on a woman slightly before him to the left, who's sleeping with her mouth open, when he senses cherry blossoms again.

“Aren't you freezing?” Tegoshi asks softly, and Shige turns to him, finding him holding out a folded blanket with a small frown of concern. “It's cold in space.”

“Thank you.” Shige accepts the blanket, and Tegoshi pastes on a smile, clearly about to leave when Shige hears himself speak up. “Actually... I feel a little lonely now.”

Tegoshi blinks once but then nods with a much less fake smile. “Want me to sit with you for a while?”

“Yes please.” Shige agrees quietly, and Tegoshi nods before walking around to settle in the empty seat next to him.

“Make sure to use the blanket.” Tegoshi reminds him as Shige just looks at him, his jawline illuminated by the dim green light from the emergency rows on the floor. “I got it specially for you.”

Shige unfolds the fleece and lays it over his legs. It warms a lot and he's grateful for it.

“You smell nice.” He hears himself saying, and to his surprise Tegoshi's face falls. “Like cherry blossoms.”

“... You remember cherry blossoms?” Tegoshi asks, his voice so quiet it's barely there, disbelief showing in his eyes as the mask of good service is forgotten.

“Don't you?” Shige wonders, and Tegoshi bitterly shakes his head.

“Barely. I wish I could see them one more time.” He says, and he looks so wounded that Shige reaches out for him, putting a hand on his thigh for comfort. “I wish I could see a lot of things one more time.”

“I understand.” Shige agrees, even though he doesn't. But he knows now that Tegoshi says it that there hasn't been a cherry blossom season in years.

“Why are you going to Kepler alone?” Tegoshi asks then, tilting his head and clearly trying to shake the melancholy.

“To start a new life.” Shige hears himself reply, and he knows it's true.

“Hm.” Tegoshi nods, then smiles, genuinely. “Guess nothing can be worse than what you came from, huh.”

Shige smiles back, and Tegoshi contemplates him slowly.

“You're very fashionable, are you an artist?” Tegoshi asks, and Shige almost wants to laugh, glancing at the green light bouncing off his shiny black nails. “It's hot when boys wear make-up.”

Shige blinks, realizing he has no idea what his face looks like.

“Thank you.” He simply replies, because that's all he can say, but Tegoshi seems satisfied with that. “You're pretty.”

Tegoshi laughs, and it's too loud considering people around them are asleep, and he immediately raises a gloved hand to cover his mouth as he looks around. When he settles that nobody reacted, he lowers the hand and speaks, much more quietly. “You're blunt.”

Shige looks at him for another moment, figuring they've already defined each other then. He rests his elbow on the armrest between them and leans in, breathing in cherry blossoms as his eyes flutter closed and he presses a kiss against Tegoshi's lips.

It's a long, slow moment that Shige's kiss lasts, and it feels good, soft and nice and Shige tries to follow when Tegoshi turns his head out of the kiss.

Shige opens his eyes as he feels a breath against his cheek, and Tegoshi's watching him curiously, surprise and question on his face rather than any negative feelings.

“Oh?” Tegoshi inquires, eyes flicking from one of Shige's features to another, before lingering on his lips.

“Yes.” Shige confirms, not sure what exactly he just answered to, but he knows he means yes.

Tegoshi's small smile is flattered, cute even, and he slowly rises from his seat. “Come with me then?”

Shige unbuckles his seatbelt for the first time in hours, and he feels a little strange as he stands up, wondering if gravity really is what it should be because he feels lighter than usual.

He follows Tegoshi towards the back of the cabin, looking at sleeping faces or people so engaged in their screens Shige sees the reflections of it in their eyes.

Tegoshi pulls the curtain aside and lets Shige follow him, and Shige steps inside a small area with controllers, screens with glowing numbers rising and falling and a whole wall filled with glass covered buttons and levers. Tegoshi turns to look at him, crossing his arms over his chest a little uncertainly, like he second guesses his decision, eyes nervously flitting over Shige's shoulder.

“People really don't see anything besides their screens.” Shige says, hoping it's comforting.

“Yeah.” Tegoshi agrees quietly, smiling. “Wouldn't it be great to just live through a screen and never have to deal with the real world?”

“The real world can be nice though.” Shige disagrees, carefully reaching out for Tegoshi, laying a hand on his upper arm.

Tegoshi watches his hand for a moment, then looks up at Shige with a hint of a pleased smile on his lips. “... I guess you're right.”

Shige leans in for another kiss, inhaling the scent of cherry blossoms like it's oxygen and Tegoshi is the only one that can provide it. This time, Tegoshi reciprocates, making it a soft, slow yet burning kiss as their lips part and close together. There's a hint of hot tongue against Shige's lower lip and he lets out a small noise, eagerly parting his lips for more because it feels so good. He presses closer to Tegoshi, feeling the structured material of his uniform against his own shiny jacket, feels the nametag press against Shige's chest and Tegoshi stumbles back one step before he catches himself against the wall.

Shige hopes there's nothing important on that wall.

Tegoshi's hand rises to Shige's face, the suede cool and soft against his skin and even though Shige wanted to feel it, now he just wants Tegoshi's warm hands. Tegoshi's fingers sift into Shige's hair, and he feels it like a little tug, like he's got something in his hair making it stiffer. It feels surprisingly good though, and he presses even closer to Tegoshi, putting his own hands on his hips, just below where the uniform jacket ends.

Tegoshi is so warm against him that the air seems chilly, and Shige feels goose bumps break out on his neck before Tegoshi's gloved hand smooths them out. He feels cold, and his hands carefully slip under Tegoshi's uniform jacket just to feel more warm skin, meeting what has to be a thin shirt that feels silky against his fingertips.

Tegoshi turns his head out of the kiss to gasp, hand clutching at the back of Shige's jacket and Shige's lips fall to his neck instead, carefully rubbing his mouth against tanned, smooth skin. Tegoshi's hair brushes his forehead and it feels softer than he thought it would considering the unnaturally light colour, making him tilt his head a little to feel more. Shige parts his lips over skin to flick his tongue out, licking a hot stripe along the beat of Tegoshi's pulse. Tegoshi's hips move in response, bucking up against Shige's and Shige can feel a hard mass grind against his own hip bone. A beautiful if slightly choked moan is breathed right into his ear, making Shige shiver from the tone and the hot breath, and he wants to do anything he can to hear more of those.

“Can I touch you?” Shige asks, his voice low and a little gravelly, and Tegoshi quickly nods.

“Yes.” He breathes, and his light voice makes Shige's hands come to life immediately.

Tegoshi's belt is easily accessible, and he barely finds the metal clasp with his fingertips before he starts to undo it, feeling movement at the front of his own jacket. He gets Tegoshi's belt undone at the same time as he feels his jacket fall open, and he glances down to see that he's wearing a soft red turtleneck that's so thin he feels his nipples harden from the sudden cold.

He gasps as Tegoshi seems to notice and rubs teasingly against a nipple with a single finger. Shige can feel him smiling against his temple as he presses another kiss just below Tegoshi's ear.

“Do you like that?” Tegoshi asks softly, voice teasing and Shige just moans his approval as Tegoshi doesn't let up, then bites his lip as he realizes he might be too loud. The curtain is thick but still just a curtain.

“It's very distracting.” He mumbles, rubbing the words against Tegoshi's cheek before finding his way back to his lips.

Shige struggles a little bit with the fastenings of Tegoshi's pants as he tries to undo them blindly, but as soon as he manages to get them open, he slips his hand inside both pants and underwear to touch him directly.

Tegoshi's moan is muffled by their kiss as Shige's fingers wrap around his erection, the hot soft skin under his hand making him feel powerful and eager to please. He strokes a couple times experimentally, carefully breaking the kiss to be able to listen better to the soft noises Tegoshi makes.

But as soon as Tegoshi's mouth is free he raises his own hand to it, and Shige thinks he's going to muffle his sounds. Until Tegoshi's eyes look straight into Shige's, dark like a black hole that seems to suck Shige's breath right out of him. A stuttered breath leaves him as Tegoshi bites at the tip of his gloved index finger and pulls his hand out of the glove. It looks hotter than it probably should, and Shige accidentally squeezes the erection in his hand a little too hard, quickly starting to apologize as Tegoshi makes a face, before a single black look silences him.

“Can I touch you too?” Tegoshi's question makes Shige shudder and he presses closer, Tegoshi's hand already brushing a teasing touch against the fastenings of his pants.

“Please.” Shige gets out, his erection twitching in anticipation of Tegoshi's bare hand.

* * *

“Oh my god.” Tegoshi groans, and Shige's hands clutch fistfuls of the sheets on either side of him, blinking unseeingly a few times before the room starts to reappear before him.

“Oh god. Oh god! Are you okay?” Tegoshi asks, voice frantic as he sits down on the edge of Shige's bed and stares at him with panic in his eyes.

Shige stares back, gasping as he becomes aware of the cold sweat and throbbing erection in his pants. He instinctively reaches out for Tegoshi's hand, but he flinches and pulls back, making Shige's extended hand fall back onto the sheets.

“I'll get someone, wait here, okay?” Tegoshi says, the stress obvious in his voice as he wets his lips and gives Shige one last look before hurrying out of the dormitory.

Shige draws a deep breath, then another, carefully pulling the blanket up to cover the bulge in his pants and then falls back onto his pillow, closing his eyes. He vaguely hears Tegoshi come back in with someone else, hastily trying to explain what happened and that he's new and he didn't know what to do, and a calming voice telling him it's alright.

He's briefly roused for one of the doctors to examine him, flashing a light in his eyes and making him say his name, what day it is and where he is, makes him recite his day. Shige still sees the shadows of the glass screen in front of his eyes, but he doesn't say that. He gets another capsule before he's allowed to go to sleep.

Shige thinks about the new story even more than he did the previous one, and he didn't think that was possible. But now he has something to compare with. The first one was more of a story like he would write it, a dramatic story of war and peace and people, but this last one, he doesn't know what it was a about. He barely knew anything, there was barely any backstory; all he knew was that he wanted Tegoshi.

Shige's days change a little, because he's not allowed to go around as he pleases anymore. There's always someone with him, and most of the time he's directed to activities with a lot of people. Once, he's paired up with Massu for laundry duty, but nothing happens except that Shige stares at his lips.

Tegoshi is more frequent in his everyday life since he still works in the dormitory Shige sleeps in now. He's nervous around Shige though, eyes flitting away whenever Shige looks at him, and Shige does that a lot. He's intrigued by why he keeps seeing Tegoshi as a blonde when he's not, but mostly how he could have seen Tegoshi in his Neverland story before he met him. He imagines his psychiatrist would tell him that he must have seen Tegoshi before and registered his face without thinking about it. But he can't think of anywhere he could have possibly seen Tegoshi before.

It takes a couple days, then Shige's told they've moved his psychiatrist appointment closer, so that he only has three days until then. Shige nods and says thank you, even if he kind of likes getting the capsules before bed. He hasn't slept this well in months. But he wants to know what's happening to him.

He muses that it might just be some sort of outlet for sexual frustration, but he hasn't felt any need to do anything with anyone in years, not sure if he ever has. He knows other residents here are frustrated, he knows there's a problem with rape because of it, but Shige doesn't care about sexual encounters. Nothing is as fulfilling as letting his mind roam free any way. He doesn't even feel any particular attraction towards either Massu or Tegoshi as he looks at them now, he just objectively thinks they're pretty, like paintings in a museum. Beautiful to look at, but touching them wouldn't make the experience better.

There's only one day left to his appointment when there's an announcement that there will be a movie displayed in the common room that same evening. There's general excitement in the halls because they very rarely get to see movies. It's apparently a romance story, and Shige feels moderately happier than usual. He likes seeing other stories so he can be inspired to work on his own.

The nurses say he should go, and so he finds himself on one of the chairs set up in rows like a movie theatre that evening.

There's an unfamiliar man rigging up the projector, and Shige watches him with quiet interest since there's nothing better to do. He's got flashy brown hair and glasses, he's tall and thin and dressed a little sloppily. He looks like what Shige would stereotype as an academic. His skin looks really nice though, and there's something familiar about him.

Someone in the row before Shige complains that it's taking too long and the nurse tries to calm them down as the academic man finally gets the projector to work, an image of a countdown starting from three filling the big screen rolled down for the occasion.

Shige curiously watches the man hurry back to the screen, and he recognizes the way he walks, the sway of his hips and the length of his steps. He watches him pick up a bag and carefully head back down the side of the rows of chairs, fondly watching the people entranced by the movie, and something clicks in Shige's head that makes him gasp.

He's seen this man before, seen him in a heavy black military uniform decorated with silver and blue, and in a blue and grey flight attendant uniform with a coquettishly tied scarf.

Shige couldn't look away even if he tried, staring because he has no idea who this person is, doesn't even know his name. But then the man inevitably glances up as he presumably feels eyes on him, and Shige expects an impact, but there's nothing.

* * *

Shige draws a breath, smelling lilies and hibiscus and something pleasantly clean. He hears low talking and clinks of champagne glasses, heels against shiny parquet floors. He feels a shirt buttoned all the way up on his neck and a tie neatly wrapped around it, and his feet are uncomfortable in expensive shoes.

“Today is a day, I've been anticipating for 15 years. A day that I'm introducing more than just a product. I'm introducing a dream. I am thrilled that you all showed up today, to share in this specific moment.”

A male voice speaks in English, but Shige still understands every word. He opens his eyes, facing a well-dressed crowd watching an elevated stage in a nicely decorated room with flower bouquets in expensive vases and large oil paintings on the walls. The stage is professionally lit, and an American looking man is standing on it, talking into a microphone as he motions towards a pedestal covered in purple silk next to him.

“A traditional limitation with VR headsets, is that we have been forced to experience virtual exploration through primarily visual stimuli. We've been unable to really _feel_ the environment we're in.” The man explains, and he's charismatic, Shige wants to listen to him.

But he also feels like he has to look around, and as he glances to his left, he sees the brunette with the pretty skin. He's watching the man on the stage carefully, his arms crossed and a champagne glass held in one hand, dressed in a sleek black suit and he looks rich.

“A product, that plugs directly into your consciousness-” The man cuts himself off as someone in the audience shouts an audible “yeah!”, smiles and points their direction before he goes on with his speech. “Our product synchronizes with your brain, through your ears, allowing you to synchronize a full reign of the sensations you have in the physical world!”

Some people in the audience make impressed noises, and the man steps up to the pedestal and takes hold of the purple silk.

”You are here to witness the beginning of a global phenomenon. Built for the world, now live in Japan.” The man says excitedly, and Shige tilts his head curiously as he starts pulling the silk away as he speaks. “Allow me to present, Worldista!”

The fabric is withdrawn and Shige watches what is revealed on the pedestal. It looks like a pair of thick skiing glasses in black and grey, a golden film covering the top, but Shige can't see any more details from here.

He hears people around starting to chatter excitedly, and he picks out phrases like “future”, “amazing” and “can't wait to try it”.

But the brunette next to him suddenly turns and leaves, and Shige turns too, hurrying after him because he knows he should follow him.

The brunette puts the champagne glass down on a table so carelessly the fluid sloshes around in the high glass, then pushes the big wooden doors to the hall open and steps out.

Shige follows, catching the door before it falls closed, and feels a strange, sucking sensation all around him, followed by what feels like a second-long cool shower.

And then everything is different.

He's standing in a corridor lined with shiny metal pipes in panels on the walls, the floor looking like corrugated metal, but it somehow feels smooth, and bright, blueish bright lights beam from the ceiling. Shige doesn't see an end of the corridor in either direction. What he does see is the brunette, his hair a little darker now and not as styled, and he's wearing a black jacket with glossy black triangles making a geometric print, glowing pink piping winding through it.

“Hello?” The brunette asks, looking surprised, and Shige nods awkwardly.

“Hello.” He replies, and the man eyes him curiously, his gaze lingering on Shige's face.

“I didn't know anyone but me entered that memory.” The man says, as if to explain his surprise, and Shige just shrugs because he's not sure what that means. “What's your name?”

“Shige.”

The brunette smiles, and it's a nice smile as he eyes Shige once more, this time more pointedly. “Shige huh? I'm Koyama. Where did you come from?”

Shige shrugs again, like it doesn’t matter.

“Well, where are you going?” Koyama tries, looking mostly amused as Shige once again shrugs. “Okay. Then do you want to spend the day with me, Shige?”

This time Shige nods, watching Koyama's smile widen. “I would like that.”

“Really? Well, do you mind going to my place first? Gotta feed the cat if I'm going on a date.” Koyama shrugs one shoulder, his smile turning teasing and Shige thinks it's pretty.

“That's fine.” He agrees, and Koyama eyes him cautiously for a moment, but then seems to decide to just accept Shige's answer.

He pushes his sleeve back and taps what looks like a black wristwatch without an actual clock. What shows up is a holographic display of some sort, an octagon with differently filled out fields and rows constantly updating themselves, and a title saying “system data” under which some kind of timer appears to be ticking. It says 20814:59:13.248 and Shige doesn't know what that means, but it makes him feel sad. There's also a headline called “Bowery” that has a similarly high number under it, but that one seems constant.

Koyama simply reaches out for Shige's arm, grasping his forearm before sliding his hand down to lace his fingers with Shige's, then taps one of the heavily filled pieces of the octagon.

There's the sucking sensation, like walking through an airlock, followed by the second-long shower, and then he's someplace new.

Koyama lets go of him, and Shige misses the touch a little, Koyama's hand fitting nicely with his own.

The room looks like an attic floor, the walls red brickwork but the floor wooden, and it's decorated artistically with old, dusty furniture and vintage paraffin lamps that seems to have something else inside them. At least Shige's never seen blue liquid in one before. There's an old chest that serves as a coffee table, and black fire escapes as well as a gated elevator that suggests this wasn't always living quarters.

He's wearing different clothes again, just black and baggy and casual, as does Koyama.

“So what do you want to do today Shige?” Koyama asks, opening a locker and pulls out a purple bag that appears to be cat food.

“I don't know.” Shige says, curiously watching Koyama take a small porcelain bowl from the floor and fills it up with tiny brown fishes. He has no idea what there is to choose from, and he feels like he should just follow Koyama. “Show me what you like to do.”

“Yeah?” Koyama raises his eyebrows as he puts the bowl back down on the floor, and suddenly a fluffy grey and white cat appears out of nowhere. At least Shige didn’t see it coming, but Koyama just smiles as it finds its food bowl. “You like parties?”

“If they're good ones?” Shige offers, and he wonders why because he doesn't like parties.

“I only go to good ones.” Koyama smiles, and Shige smiles back, wondering what Koyama thinks makes a good party.

Apparently, Koyama thinks loud and illegal makes good parties, Shige learns. He's seated next to Koyama watching some kind of boxing ring, a drink in his hand that is almost black and he has no idea what's in it. Koyama's wearing a fur coat and his hair is styled, his tank top neckline so low Shige can see the end of his sternum. Shige's wearing a leather jacket and a normal T-shirt, but he saw himself in the mirror earlier, and the make-up around his eyes is dark and smudged, the styling of his hair making him look a little dangerous. Which is probably a good thing, because Shige thinks that everyone here looks dangerous.

There are two men in the boxing ring, beating each other bloody and Shige finds it a little hard to watch. Apparently, people place bets on this, and Koyama seems to know exactly who to choose since he's cheering more often than not when someone goes down. He's drinking something that's so red it looks like blood, and Shige wonders what it is, but clearly it has a lot of alcohol because it makes him drunk, fast.

“YES!” Koyama hollers as another man stumbles to the ground and doesn't get up, and he pulls Shige in close with an arm around his shoulders. “Perfect, did you see that?!”

“I saw it.” Shige agrees, smiling at Koyama's enthusiasm as he ticks something on his crumbly sheet of paper. “Do you like watching people fight?”

“I like winning money.” Koyama smiles, the flirty tone making Shige’s skin heat a little considering how closely Koyama's holding him. “And this is just easy, I mean look at him.”

Koyama nudges his drink towards the ring where the winner stands, and Shige blinks as he really looks at him. He's topless with impressive muscles, dark red hair hanging into his eyes with sweat, and Shige recognizes him. It's Massu.

“Do you know him?” Koyama asks, curious as he notices Shige's expression. “I hope you don't think he's hot because I look nothing like that.”

“I... Recognize him.” Shige settles with, and he's surprised as that makes Koyama smile widely. “I’ve seen him before somewhere completely different.”

“That's good, so you're not an NPC after all? I was a little worried about that.” Koyama says, and Shige doesn't understand what he means. “A non-player character? You have the same set of responses to everything so I was worried you were just a computer.”

Shige must look as confused as he feels, because Koyama just laughs and ruffles his hair.

Shige reaches up to fix it again, but he has no idea how it was to begin with and quickly gives up.

“Oh this is a tough one!” Koyama calls as the next contestant steps into the ring, and Shige's eyes bulge as he spots blonde hair. “You see, he doesn't look like much in comparison, but he's fierce.”

Shige watches as Tegoshi shakes hair out of his eyes and glares at Massu, and he gets a distinct feeling that he shouldn't watch this.

“I don't really like watching people fight even if they make money off it.” Shige says, and Koyama turns to look at him, a little surprised.

“Well we can do something else?” He offers, and Shige smiles to make sure his approval gets through even as the crowd starts yelling.

Koyama tugs him along away from the fighting ring, and Shige draws a breath of relief as he's guided through what looks like an industrial building.

“Wanna make money without people fighting?” Koyama asks, and Shige quietly wonders why Koyama's so obsessed with making money. But he nods, and Koyama looks happy, so Shige's happy.

Shige finds himself in a casino that looks too expensive for fur coats and plunging necklines, but Koyama doesn't seem to care. Shige sits as close to him as he can in order not to accidentally look at anyone else's cards and be considered cheating. Koyama doesn't talk to him, but he gives little nods and nudges when people ask for cards or fold or bet, and Shige's happy to just observe. Koyama's good at this it seems, since he already has a lot of tokens before him that he bets seemingly carelessly.

Shige watches him bet almost everything he has, and win it back jubilantly, wondering if winning is what Koyama lives for. But then an arm loops around his waist and there's a hot kiss pressed to his cheek as Koyama smiles in victory, and Shige doesn't wonder too much anymore.

After that final big win, Koyama finally settles that they've done enough gambling, and brings Shige along to a nightclub. Shige normally doesn't either dance or drink, but Koyama does both and Shige can only follow.

The music played is electronic beats, no singing and the club is full of flashing lights that makes Shige feel like he's gone both deaf and blind. But he sees Koyama, in his skimpy tank top that shows off his whole chest from the right angles, and the skin-tight pants that accentuates the sinful way his hips move. Koyama's dancing leaves no doubt as to what he wants, and he only has eyes for Shige.

It still takes surprisingly long before Koyama finally presses up against Shige, rolling his filthy hips against his and captures Shige's willing lips in a messy kiss. It feels surreal, the bass from the music thumping through Shige's entire body and reverberating against Koyama's lips, and the heat of them being pressed together so closely is almost too much. Koyama breaks the kiss with a smile, and Shige only smiles back as they keep dancing together under the flashing lights. They end up staying until the club closes, giggling together as they stumble onto the street and there's a hint of pink dawn at the horizon. Shige's turned on, but only pleasantly so, and he wants to keep staying close to Koyama, feel his touch and look at his smile.

“Let's go for a drive.” Koyama says, and Shige frowns, wondering if Koyama should drive considering he's been drinking, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't seem that drunk anyway.

The car is sleek and shiny, looking big and brand new and fast. Shige's never seen a car like it before, but then again, he hasn't seen many cars.

“Get in.” Koyama offers, his new outfit making him look like an upperclassman on a Sunday trip, and Shige stops wondering if this is even Koyama's car.

They drive through a city of giant skyscrapers that Shige can't see the top of when he looks up from the car window, and there's blinking neon lights and artistic fountains, bars and casinos advertising that they're open 24/7. Shige watches everything in silence, and Koyama doesn't speak.

Until he pulls over onto a mostly empty parking lot and stops, the view beautiful with city rooftops and glass skyscrapers kissed by the soft pink and orange of the rising sun.

“I hate mornings.” Koyama says quietly, and Shige turns to look at him, seeing his face illuminated by the same warm glow as the rooftops.

“Why?” Shige asks, tilting his head as he sees Koyama look sad for the first time and he doesn't like it.

“Because then I have to log out.” Koyama explains, and Shige frowns, but doesn't say anything as Koyama goes on, blindly looking forward. “In here, I'm rich, cool and whoever I want to be. In here, I have my cat and my apartment, and I don't need a job to survive. Out there, there’s none of those things. So I hate mornings.”

Shige watches him in silence for a moment, his chest feeling a little painful as he sees Koyama's pain.

“I had fun with you tonight.” Shige offers, and Koyama smiles softly. “And it's not morning just yet.”

Koyama turns to look at him at that, eyes dark and curious. “That's true.”

Shige smiles and turns to look at the sunrise for another few moments, thinking that light really is gorgeous.

“Shige?” The question is gentle, and Shige only hums a reply before slowly turning to meet Koyama's serious eyes. “Will you kiss me?”

“Yeah.” Shige agrees, and Koyama's responding soft smile is reason enough to do it.

Shige leans over to meet Koyama's lips, the kiss completely different from the ones they shared in the club, but everything about this feels different. The kiss is slow and gentle, and Shige quickly gets uncomfortable leaning across the gear box, surprising himself with the initiative to crawl over into Koyama's seat.

Koyama breaks the kiss with a surprised glance as Shige starts moving, but helpfully pulls a lever and pushes his seat as far back as it can go. It's still a little tight, but Shige manages to sandwich himself between Koyama's body and the steering wheel, feeling the sunrise warm the back of his head. Koyama looks up at him like he's a mirage of some sort, and Shige makes a content noise once he's finally settled fairly comfortably, straddling Koyama's thighs.

“You're so damn pretty.” Koyama mumbles, a hand rising to cup Shige's face, and Shige tilts his head into the touch, closing his eyes as Koyama's long fingers sift into his hair, stroking it back.

He intends to reply, but then Koyama's lips are on his neck and talking doesn't seem that important anymore.

Koyama's touch is so gentle, caring, and Shige sighs and gasps as his hands slip under Shige's shirt, urging it up and off before carefully exploring every inch of Shige's bared torso.

A soft moan leaves his lips as Koyama leans in to place a lingering kiss just above his heart, then strays to a nipple while his hands rest on Shige's hips that tries to buck forward on their own.

“Shige?” Koyama asks against his skin, and Shige nods in acknowledgement, his own hands on Koyama's shoulders loosening their tight grip. “Will you touch me too?”

Shige nods again, then swallows before he dares trusting his voice. “Of course.”

Koyama leans back in the seat, and Shige pops the buttons of his cashmere shirt, shoving it open and not fully off, but he figures it's enough. The skin of Koyama's chest is as flawless as his face, tanned and smooth and so warm Shige's fingertips are drawn to it on their own accord. Shige takes his time learning the new body, that Koyama's sides are ticklish but touches to his collarbones makes his head tip back with a moan. Shige leans down to place a wet kiss there, and Koyama's hips roll up more pointedly, making Shige moan as an erection presses up against him.

“Koyama...” Shige starts, but Koyama shakes his head.

“Keiichiro.” He corrects, and Shige tries out the new name.

“Keiichiro...” He repeats, tasting the syllables in his name. It's silky and smooth, reminding Shige of chocolate. “I want you.”

“Fuck, I want you too.” Koyama groans, hips rolling up so pointedly that Shige's eyelashes flutter as heat shoots to his groin. “Just like this.”

Undressing enough to suffice is a hassle, and Shige almost falls over at one point, but Koyama catches him with a small laugh. Eventually, they're back in their original position except without clothes in the way, and Koyama's slick fingers slipping inside Shige. It's a completely new sensation for him, invasive but not in a bad way, and he's hyperaware of what's happening between his legs. Koyama's fingers are so long, making Shige feel like they reach all the way up to brush his heart. The slide and spreading of Koyama's fingers inside him is surprisingly pleasant but still not enough, the stretch only enough to be a tease by now, and Shige's fingers fist the shirt still clinging to Koyama's shoulders to try and get rid of some frustration.

“Are you okay?” Koyama asks, his voice a little ragged, and he presses a hot kiss to Shige's chest.

Shige nods fervently, gasping as Koyama brushes that something inside that makes heat shoot out into his entire body. “I want more.”

“Mm.” Koyama hums, rubbing his lips against Shige's skin like he can't help himself. “I can give you more.”

Koyama's fingers leave him, and Shige feels empty, incomplete somehow. He barely holds back an embarrassing whine, focusing on watching what Koyama's doing between them as he opens a condom packet, rolls it on and moans as he slickens his erection with more transparent substance from the bottle resting against the handbrake. Shige wants to reach down and touch his erection, stroke it and make him feel good, but he can't seem to relax his hands enough to leave Koyama's shoulders.

“Are you ready?” Koyama asks, and Shige breathes out a yes as he feels the tip of Koyama's erection brush between his ass cheeks, shifting around until it's exactly where he wants it. “Go slow.”

Shige doesn't know how he's supposed to go slow, his thighs already quivering at the much larger intrusion slowly going deeper inside his body, and he wonders how it's all supposed to fit in him. But as Koyama mumbles soothing words against his neck, helpfully holding his hips, he finally feels thighs against the backs of his own, realizing he's as full as he can be.

He's gasping for breath, a constant heat spreading inside him and he wants something to happen, movement and friction even though his body isn't ready for that yet, anything to keep it from clamping down on Koyama's erection like it's trying to keep it in custody.

“Okay?” Koyama asks, sounding a little strained, and Shige sees the same frustration mirrored in his expression.

He doesn't reply, just carefully raises his hips the tiniest bit and lets them fall back down, both of them groaning in unison and it sounds pretty. Shige slowly builds up his own rhythm, the effort killing his thighs but he doesn't care, it only adds to the extraordinary feeling.

Koyama's moaning underneath him, high pitched and beautiful, his face contorting in pleasure the prettiest thing Shige's seen yet. The heat is building up inside him, coiling in his belly tighter and tighter, and he lets out a frustrated noise as he can't seem to do well enough to unleash it.

Koyama's eyes pop open at the sound, eyeing Shige's face for a second before rolling his hips up more pointedly when Shige comes down, and it makes sparkles go off before Shige's eyes.

“Yes, please, like that.” He gets out, and a hint of a smile grazes Koyama's lips as he thrusts up with purpose, making Shige's head fall back as he feels like he's breaking apart.

A hand wraps around his erection and he cries out, his hands fisting fabric so hard he feels like he'll break it, his hips moving erratically between the hand stroking him and the erection fucking him. He barely feels Koyama's lips against his neck before he's finally pushed over the edge, his vision exploding in white fireworks as pleasure rips through his body.

* * *

Shige gasps for air like a fish on land, feeling hot and cold at the same time and it's making him nauseous. He opens his eyes but he can't see, only small black ants crawling across his vision and he feels out of balance, grasping around for something to hold in order not to fall.

“It's okay, it's okay. Relax, you're okay.” A soothing voice says, and Shige's vision slowly returns from the edges, leaving black spots here and there until he blinks them away.

He's in a small room, lying on a bed in cold sweat with a cooling sticky mess in his pants, a throbbing somewhere deep inside him that he's never experienced before, and it makes him shift. He shudders as he's quickly cooling down, sitting up in bed and he feels his hair in sweaty wisps against his forehead.

There's a nurse next to him, and she politely avoids looking at the mess in Shige's pants that's starting to soak through the front of his pants, simply wipes his forehead with a lukewarm towel and says she's fetching a doctor.

Shige falls back against the sheets, wondering when he was moved and for how long he's been out, recognizing this as a private room. He hasn't been in one of those since he arrived here years ago.

The doctor examines him, deeming him physically fine, and the nurse helps him wash off before sending him to bed with two of those capsules Shige's only had one of before. He sleeps until noon the following day.

Shige doesn't have much time to think about this last story before his appointment at 2 pm, and he thinks that might be a good thing. Because this one was so different, his own decision making much more independent than it had been before, and he wonders what that was about. Who this Koyama could be.

“I don't know what they are.” Shige explains as he's seated in the chair in his psychiatrist’s office, watching the surrealistic painting with yellow and red stripes that he always watches. “At first, I was just someone in a bigger picture, and in the last one, I could make decisions. I don't know who these people are I keep seeing, or why I only keep seeing them. Am I supposed to learn something about them?”

There's a silence as he thinks about which of his musings to voice. He's already been as detailed as he can with telling the stories he's seen, and the only sound in the room since he starts talking is that of a pen scribbling on paper.

“I wonder... If these stories are about them, or about me? I don't understand why they're all sexual because I don't want anything sexual with them now. Is my brain trying to tell me something? And how comes I know things in my stories that I don't know in real life?” He asks finally, voicing his most ridiculous thoughts. He’s so unused to hearing his own voice so much since he’s spoken for so long without interruption, that he just goes on with everything that’s been bothering him. “Am I seeing some kind of alternate universe? Or memories that aren't mine? Or am I just... losing my mind?”

He finally asks the question with a deep sigh, because he knows that his brain making up things he can't explain is not a good sign.

“I guess I'm just worried.” He says, then falls silent, hoping she's going to comfort him, say something that is logical and can explain everything that's happened in Shige's head the past week. Maybe prescribe him a medication to make it better.

But the voice that speaks up is not his psychiatrist's.

“Don't worry Shige.” A low, male voice that doesn't sound entirely like it does in his head but that is definitely his own says, and Shige spins around in the chair.

Behind the desk is a mirror copy of himself, only with longer hair, a healthier face and dressed in a nice tweed suit, smiling knowingly back at him. “Next time, I'm sure it will be your story.”


End file.
